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| I'm pretty comfortable these days. I have my days of anxiousness about certain situations or whatnot in relation to my size, but in general I have a pretty happy "this is me and I'm cool with that" attitude. It's taken me 34 years. It wasn't easy, though I've always had pretty supportive "we don't give a shit about your weight or what colour you choose to dye your hair or if you have eight million metal things in your face" kind of people around me (just lucky I guess) and always had partners that have always been accepting and such... but just being a bigger person living in the world is enough to put those blah doubts and crap in your head. All the media is geared towards making us feel inadequate. Everyone, not just bigger people. Everything is sold based on fear and "you'll be better off/more loved/more accepted/more popular/etc" and it seeps in to your brain whether you want it too or not. It kind of sucks... and it's hard to keep it out sometimes. A good sense of humour helps lol. Being able to walk away from assholes who think they have the right to comment, the right to judge and make other people feel bad because they feel bad or have been so indoctrinated with this idea that people are only worth something if they look a certain way.. that whole long road too "you know what? i'm not perfect, i never will be.. but neither is anyone else and i'm kind of fucking awesome anyway" is ongoing forever and ever.
I like my body. There are things I'd change, all stuff I could change if I decided to put my heart in to it and use a bit of will power, so I have no big issue with it. It does what I tell it too, absorbs alcohol at a good rate and preeeeetty much looks ok, I think. To me anyways.
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